I Want To Go Home, To Kansas...

"It's a step in the right direction," the 69-year-old retired postal worker said, adding that he believed in the biblical version of creation. "How is it possible we're descended from apes?"

Cone of Uncertainty

Everyday I wake up I still can't believe the bed is in Texas.




Good Luck

Bad picture, Better story..

!0oo words, huh?

So, Chicken and I were to be married Sept 24th at 5pm, here in Houston. For those of you that have exceptional parents like mine, from large Eastern European Catholic families--read "My Big Fat Greek ..whatever that fuck that movie was called"-- you get the picture.

Chicken and I were happy with a few O.O.S. friends, some local family, blah blah. I had sent out invites to my friends in LA,(O.O.S.) and a few replied/accepted.

So the date was set, at the Rothko Chapel..a very serene place of no denomination, full of 12 paintings by the great Mark Rothko, ergo the name...The reception would be at our apartment, and our gay-landlord-friends would plan/host the party. BBQ would be served from a great restaurant in

town, and those from out of town were sure to have a gay, beef-filled, dance fest of a good 'ole country, high-art/low-brow time.Things were looking good, considering..Chicken and I were happy. Let's share that...

This was the 14th of Sept.

As the weekend progressed and I watched CNN 24/7, things got realistically worse.

On Monday(19th) I was assuring my guests from LA that if they wanted to come, it was up to them, but that I couldn't promise anything but beer, beef, and 70's disco..and a free room at the Four Seasons downtown--this i'll elaborate on later..

Tuesday (20th) it was obvious to Wolf Blitzer and myself that this might be a little selfish, and promoted a more logical, less emotional plan....STAY HOME..how much fun could a cat. 5 hurricane really be, even if it were in a free room, at the Four Seasons. Could be stuck in BUSH country, where gunstrapped, drunk Red state-ers would never let them/anyone leave, but FEMa would be there to help...soon.

Wednesday(21st)so yesterday we cancelled the wedding, postponed the honeymoon, cancelled the BBQ, the flowers, the tent and part effects, all cancelled. Thank god we produced this whole thing ourselves..no money was lost, just the prospect of having a great time with folkes neither of us had seen for a long time, if ever...So now Chicken and I are planning to go ahead with the wedding, sans 80 guests. Remember that there is a hurricane scheduled to hit the Texas coast at some point, and that no matter where, we'd receive something...right? We make the arrangements to meet at the chapel ~ 2pm. Call the parents--mine, Chicken's had taken the time to actually plan on being at the wedding, eventhough they live 100miles away. Meanwhile my parents are bitching that, "they can't get to the highway, can't we just do this next week, how about you guys drive down here and we can have the priest marry you in the church, how 'bout that?"....ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, IT'S OUR WEDDING IN OUR SETTING AND OUR DAY, YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE PLANS, THE VENUE(another story)EVERYTHING, JUST SO YOU ARE MORE COMFORTABLE......

Meanwhile the chaplin calls and can't make it till 4pm, from our point of view, no biggie, i'll just have another cocktail, and watch the weather channel. Also please note that my brother and his family have showed up. They live near my parents, and had to access the same roads to arrive at my house...within 25 mins. ..25 fucking"-we-can't-get-to-the-highway" minutes. And Susan's best friend, her maid of honor--and who is quite hot--made it . Her travel time was 4 hours for a one hour drive--she had to wait in line for gas..but I digress.

I call my parents one more time, and by now the phone lines are jammed with idiots fleeing the city, with nothing better to do except complain to others stuck in the same shit. I tell them "make it if you want, it's at 4..bye."

one more cocktail.

The wedding goes off without a hitch...and there's pictures, hugs, my parents, tears, laughing, smoking of cigarettes(afterwards), it was just great. we were married, and there was a hurricane edging towards the coast. Now it was time to have some cocktails and a little food...

Dinner was great, came home-- formalized the nuptials--and started planning our next moves--out of the city, somewhere.

My brother, his family, Susan and I were going to spend Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at the Four Seasons. We had 5 executive suites there, free of charge that the company I work for let us use. Susan and I wanted the CEO's and we planned on using it..and I mean, well, you know what I mean. But we still had to collect our things, board up the house, take photos for insurance purposes, ect. There was a hurricane heading for us.

Thursday(22nd)--I mentioned my neighbors/landlords above. Great guy, been together 26 years...anyway, they live in a large 1920's two story, brick..double-pane windows..oh and the alpha male of the pair is a selfdeclared member of the ARF club-anal retentive fag. Goodluck.

Most of our shit has been bolted down, taken in, whatever, and we plan on helping out the boys...with boarding up their house--read Dave is going to climb the ladder with 1/2 sheets of 1/2" ply 20' in the air, screw gun in tow. each sheet must be cut, hoisted..blah, blah...you get the picture. 10 of the 12 windows are done, the temp outside is ~95 as is the humidity, and the afr yells"hey Dave, that last one is a little lopsided, a little crooked."once again..goodluck.So we finish up, and head for the Four Seasons where we have a few rooms--see above. We haven't spent a dime on the wedding, really, at this point, so we check in and head to the bar, which is empty, because there's a hurricane heading for the coast/Houston. Still 2 days away.

At this point I think i'll publish and save the FS for another day..

thanks for bearing with me. enjoy and ..GL

Cornholio

well, well. It seems that writer's block is a reality, and i have been plunged into reality for far too long....here a little something to re-focus..

enjoy,
Gern

first day on the job

Now that i have it, what do i do?